The Queen of Pain

The O&G and I confirmed the fetus' AOG this morning to be ~4 weeks. I paid an unscheduled visit for the cramps had already exceeded my pain tolerance. I guess, it was the worst among the worse fits for the past week. I had to bear the pain lying down while waiting for my turn. The nurses there promised to squeeze me through the long queue since my appointment is supposedly on Friday. They did, 'though it was almost 3 hrs after. *sigh* But I am really thankful for their warm reception coupled with a friendly smile & a courteous manner of assisting preggies.

So there, in between, I had to rush slowly (yep, Ill teach you how, just prompt me ;p) to the X-ray Dept and do the U/S scan. The tech did a tummy scan at 1st, however, opted for a trans-V since the sac was still young. To-&-Fro, To-&-Fro...it feels awkward & at the same time quite painful. I felt like a guinea pig as I looked at the tech while she was making facial expressions of uncertainty & a heavy sigh of incompetence. =) Yes! I was done. 10 minutes after, the tech handed the result over to be given to my O&G.

As I was on my way down inside the lift, my impatience ruled. My hands went ahead and pulled out the result from the envelope. I saw the report & it was tragic. I have seen a similar format before when they diagnosed something odd affecting my Right appendages and now on the Left minus the tube. *sigh*

Time's ticking & I felt so tense. I was worried actually. The past kept flashing back. How I wish I never peeked. Too late the hero.

10 minutes after, they called me in. The O&G wasn't there yet. Maybe she had her lunch break. They instructed me again to prepare myself for another (endless) scan. I was there lying down half clothed for another 10 minutes, staring at the glaring warm light. I had scary thoughts running through my mind as I heard the tingling sound of the metal paraphernalias being arranged by the nurse. D & C & the fetus' condition were all I could ever think of. Really bad thinking! Well, it's so hard to be in this field. With all the pre-disposing factors, you can't help but be paranoid.

Alas! The O&G has arrived. She has seen the result and assured me that I and Bunny would be fine. Perhaps, the cramps have been caused by my previous incision & the presence of his thingy on my Left appendage which accdg to her is normal for preggies.

While comforting me, she did the tummy scan at the same time. She smiled & pointed to me the sac we saw 3 days ago. It has increased in size & much more vivid now. It is absolutely alive. The O&G said I need not be alarmed. I was relieved...so relieved. *phew!*

I have lain on the OR table twice and was able to bear the aftermath. Hopefully, I will be able to withstand again the anguish and the solace of infanticipation.

Eventually...eventually...