Monday, June 30, 2008

Wiser than wise

The Urine Test

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.' 'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Return of Sadako

Fly, Fly, Fly for the 2nd time around

The world is complaining about the increase in fuel price etcetera etceteta and yet some people can still manage to burn liters and liters of oil merely to practice their antics for the country's National Day come August. Several times a week means lots and lotsa $$$$ *kaching*

The tutubis hover around mimicking Pearl Harbor
Pahingi naman ng rasyon, pwede pa tong pagkakitaan. Mahirap talaga ang mayaman, maaaring magtapon ng kuwarta sa kalawakan, hindi tulad ng isang sea liner na kayang magtapon ng maraming katawan sa gitna ng dagat. Haaaaay..

Friday, June 27, 2008


...makes the heart grow fonder."

Alas! I can squeeze in a few minutes to update my space. It's 25 past 1am.

Phew! It's been a month and I definitely missed blogging. The thought of shutting it down crossed my mind for I thought I won't be able to (ab)use it any longer. Errr, not as often as before.

We've been busy the past weeks looking after Kimi. He's been greatly distressed by the change in weather. He's not a toughie when cool air alternates with hot air then cool, cooler, coolest air subsequently. As a result, erratic fever reaching up to 38.9 degrees. Zero point something pa eh pwede na syang magkombulsyon. We were so alarmed by this such that we even suspected Chikungunya. Hey! Don't dare think we're paranoid as there had been 6 reported cases in our area last January plus 3 last month and considering a sudden onset of fever plus several mosquito bites. Isn't it ironic that such a clean and clutter-free place can breed deadly mosquitoes? We say maybe they prefer virgin blood *bwahaha*

We paid two trips to the hospital so they can work him up. Nothing serious 'though. They just said it's viral infection and kids nowadays are the victims. Just a few mils of Bromhexine and Actifed...voila! Magaling na sya!

Now, he's active as ever. No more worries. Standing up, crawling, climbing the sofa etc etc. He can really consume a lot...a lot as in 9 bottles a day, 180-200ml one time.

Here's a shot @Starhub:

We're just disappointed with Starhub's service. They block torrent sites. *grrrr* Pano na lang ang mga movies? Shhh...strikto sila sa piracy dito.

Anyways, had we known earlier, we would not have signed up with them. Mabuti pa daw ang Singnet, di nila gawain 'to. Di bale no contract naman..pwede na rin pagtiyagaan. 2-3 days lang naman ang waiting time.

Baboo!! See you later, alligator!